A Silent Goodbye

Through his severly dried lips, parted slightly in an almost smile, the gap between his two front teeth was revealed. Two nickles, side by side, could have fit snuggly in that space. It was alarming to see at that time. A smile? Why? His eyes weren't smiling. His eyes were engaged in wordless conversation with me. The gray blue cornias, the color of a stormy sea, were bright and glistening, normally a sign of health, but looking closely they were glistening tears gathering in his eyes. They never spilled over, they never would.
Love, sadness, understanding, and hope all eminating from his eyes told the story of him and me. We relived it together in those moments. His hand, holding mine, the grasp getting stronger as the story unfolded. Then we glimpsed into the future. I felt in his hand the strength he had lost many months ago, it was back, for a fleeting moment. I didn't want to let go, but I had to. He was forcing me to let go.
The sounds of monitors and machines were beeping around us, pulsating to the rythm of a heart, a loving, giving heart. I could hear my family chatting in the room, their comments falling deaf upon my ears. I heard only his voice, our wordless conversation coming to life inside my head.

Personal Evaluation
So far in this class I am completing all of the assignments, getting stories published, and am on the right track to have fulfilled the requirements to make an A at the end of the semester. Through lectures and taking notes I am gaining tremendous insight about feature writing. Unfortunately, I have yet put all of the things that I have been learning into my stories. I haven't yet felt truly passionate about any of the things I am writing about, and that can be seen in the finished product. I am looking forward to the final story, the big one, because I will be writing about something I care about but also I have been thinking of interesting ways to incorporate a lot of the new skills that I've learned in class. I am probably going to do my final story in first person, but using a lot of dialogue, as well as being very descriptive so that I can put the reader right into the middle of the action. I am looking forward to writing this story. I am glad that I am taking this course, but part of me wishes that I had waited a semester or two until I had gained more basic writing and editing experience and had taken a few more JREM courses. Then another part of me is glad that I am taking the course this semester so that I can start developing these feature writing skills and put them to use in future classes. You see, I'm a bit torn. Overall, I am extremely pleased with the class and the content, but I am not so pleased with my personal contribution. I wish that my writing was better, but I guess I should be happy that it has at least improved a little.

The Story of a Wine Snob
Thad Cox Jr., Knoxville’s premier wine connoisseur stands at a vantage point in the center of his store, Ashe’s Wine & Spirits. He’s aware of each browsing customer as they stroll among the aisles, carefully selecting wines he makes available to them from around the world. His open and welcoming stance eagerly anticipates the moment a customer looks questioningly at an unfamiliar bottle of wine. He’s ready and waiting to explain the background of the vineyard, the aromas and the tastes of the wine at hand if the customer is willing. But he is apt at reading his customers and sometimes only eye contact accompanied by a subtle nod and knowing grin persuades the customer to add the unfamiliar bottle to their already flourishing basket of finds.
Thad Cox Jr., has been working at Ashe’s since 1981 with the exception of two years. “I worked here in college for beer money and rent money,” Thad laughs.
While working part time at Ashes, Thad studied finance in college with plans to enter into his family’s banking business. After graduating in 1985, he began a career with his family’s bank. Only two years later, Thad had a personal discovery, “I wasn’t into the corporate scene, the coat and tie, the daily memos. It just didn’t excite me.”
His next career move was on the horizon. Unfortunately, it was the death of Mr. Ashe, the original owner of Ashe’s Wine & Spirits that prompted Thad’s career change. When Mr. Ashe passed away his family was looking for someone to temporarily run the store until they could make permanent arrangements for new management. The Ashe family turned to Thad and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. It was a new opportunity knocking on his door the moment he’d begun to tire of his career in banking.
Thad returned to Ashes in 1987 as he store’s manager, it was only three short years later in 1990 that he purchased the store from the Ashe family and became the new owner of Knoxville’s premier wine shop. “In the back of my head I always thought I wanted to own my own business, but I never imagined it would be the store I worked it, and I never imagined it would be the store in the neighborhood I grew up in.” Thad said about his ownership of Ashe’s.
Now 15 years later, Thad can still be found at the store throughout the day. “He doesn’t do a lot of the day to day running of the business,” said employee Wes Finchum. “He is here to schmooze with customer and cultivate friendships with the salesmen, and try all the wines and know what to buy and suggest.”
Since becoming the owner of Ashes, Thad made it his goal to expand the wine market in Knoxville and impart his personal wine knowledge on both his customers and employees.
“I learned about wine just from being around him and watching how he looked at and tasted wines,” said Lee Rogers, wine manager at Foothills Wine and Spirits, who trained with Thad before opening the wine store in Maryville. “It’s amazing how much you learn from being around a person so excited about wines,” Lee added about Thad’s enthusiasm.
Wes agrees, “(Thad) definitely knows his wine, he loves it, he digs it, this has to be his ideal job.”
Thad takes pride in teaching his employees about wine through tastings and dinners. He wants his employees to be prepared and knowledgeable when a customer inquires about a wine. “I tell my guys here that if they don’t know the answer to a question, be honest, don’t try to make something up. Try and point our wines that are kinda popular and steer them in that direction,” Thad explained.
Over the years, Thad has strived to build relationships with his customers. “We can’t let them taste the wines in the store yet, so there is a trust there and we’ve built that trust over the years and they (the customers) kinda know our palates and know if we like a wine, they might like it.”
Thad eagerly offered his opinion of some of his favorite wines, “I have a pretty open mind about wines, but my favorite areas are the Rhone Valley, Napa Valley, and the Prioat region of Spain. I really do just love wine. It’s just really incredible. It doesn’t have to be a super stellar, super expensive wine to be a great experience.” Thad gushed.
For more of Thad’s favorite wines and new suggestions visit www.Asheswine.com. Thad updates his “they pay me to travel” wine picks weekly.

What I want to do and how I plan to do it!
I have great ideas for my future - a conglomeration of things that I want to do as job. I want my work to involve tasting food and wines, traveling places to experience regional cuisine and then sharing my thoughts and experiences with others.

I have graduated from culinary school, I educate myself nightly on wine, I have lived and worked abroad as a chef, I have worked in the test kitchens for "Martha Stewart Living" magazine and I am currently working on a journalism degree. These are the things that I have done, thus far, to prepare myself for a career that I would love.

Upon graduation, I hope to do an internship with "Southern Living" magazine or some other similar publication. I hope that after completing an internship and gaining practical experience I will be able to get a job as a food editor, or at least an assistant editor for a magazine.

On Writing

I find writing and grammar both a little scary so when I began reading On Writing by Stephen King I was hiding under the covers of my bed timidly turning the pages, nervously awaiting for the story to unfold into a nightmare of man-eating adverbs appearing from the passive tense to haunt the house of an elderly English professor.

Much to my relief, the story was of a different nature altogether.

I found it refreshing to read something by Stephen King that could not be categorized in the horror-fiction genre. While reading On Writing I was able to truly focus on the style of his writing, something, I will admit, that I often ignore when I get into a good fiction novel.
The way Mr. King broke down the components that lead to well written fiction were easy to grasp.

I am one of those writers (I should actually refer to my self as a wanna'be writer) that gets completely flustered when faced with a blank page. The blank page is not magical - it's scary as hell to me!

Stephen King made it not so scary anymore (that's quite an oxymoronic statement) yet it is true, and I feel that I can begin to approach writing in a manner similar to the way he suggests. One thing will be definitely be different: I won't have a carpenter box full of tools, I would like to think that I have a jewelry box full of beautiful gems.

?? Who Am I ??

I could tell you the normal stats that easily answer a question such as this: my name, gender, age, etc. I would be redundent if I answered this way, you could easily look at my profile and find this same information.

Instead, I'll be honest - I don't yet know who I am or who I will become.

I know all about myself - my likes, dislikes, dreams, passions and curiosities, but I don't yet know who I am. I am currently in the midst of serious self-discovery, nothing drastic or overly complicated, but enlightening and rewarding. Everyday I learn something new that contributes to who I will become.

I'm not embarassed that I "don't know who I am." It takes time to grow into one's own skin and I don't want to rush the process because who I become is who I will always be.